Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Raindrops...

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head

The days are slipping away at a pace faster that I can handle. The office routine. The late evenings. The relentless excel sheets. The formal-wear, diplomatic-speak professional me. The long rides that take me home to nothing. And the mornings again. Weekends get over in bed, the holidays stay stuck on the calendar. Life is moving on, as it always does.


Raindrops keep fallin' on my head

And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed
Nothin' seems to fit
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'


It surprises me that after 22 years of rebelling against everything I didn't understand, I'm doing what the world deems good. MBA, gruelling job, a monthly spike in the bank account. I'm just one among thousands of people who walk into buildings like mine. I never thought I'd be this way. Never thought I'd have a CV to get me here. Growing up, I wanted to be a cop. Then I wanted to play a sport, represent India in something. Then I wanted to give the IAS. Later, I wanted to be a teacher. Now I just want to get over with the day, impress some seniors, get into a good team and earn my way into a good material life. I don't belong at home, any conversation with my folks is ruled out. There is no one to talk to, no one to snuggle up with. Life is, but a drill.


But there's one thing I know

The blues they send to meet me won't defeat me
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me


Frankly, I do have a decent job. The money is good. I eat home-made food everyday and sleep in my own bed in peace. It’s a life a lot of people want to live. But, there is still that emptiness in me, because I've seen a better life for 2 years. A place where I could work hard, choose my line, live with friends, play all I wanted to.. And generally be who I really am. Where I didn't have to pretend to fit in. I now know a place like that exists. What the hell am I doing here? I just know I have to get there, or be with someone who'll make this life similar to that.


Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain my complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me


I'm glad to know that the magic has survived. I'm glad to know that we think differently from when we were younger, but we think the same now. Finally, I have something to look forward to. The change maybe months away, but who says one can't start anticipating it. I'm still going to complain… but now, I'll crib about how the days just don't pick up speed. I've realized that I'm the one who lives this life, I get to change it. Or accept it, for whatever it is. I'll have to move on too, maybe even grow up a little. I'm going to travel and see the world, call and catch up with old buddies, learn new things, do more stuff... even enjoy work. This is just a lull before better times. A necessary depressing phase when my questions are unanswered. I still have no answers, but I'm sure they are coming.


It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me.


But it'll still be a while.


Raindrops keep fallin' on my head

But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me

5 comments:

Ms Cris said...

Solution is simple you know. If you dont like your job, quit. And find what you like :-)

shrik said...

The days are slipping away at a pace faster that I can handle. The office routine. The late evenings. The relentless excel sheets. The formal-wear, diplomatic-speak professional me. The long rides that take me home to nothing. And the mornings again.

Agree with most of that, except the first sentence. Time is absolutely CRAWLING :-|

Aside: Doesn't this post belong...elsewhere?

Preeti Sharma said...

Supergirl, it's all upto you - how exciting and fun and invigorating you want your life to be. And the change has to come from you. All the best.

Multi Menon said...

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Karthik said...

"And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed
Nothin' seems to fit"....THIS FITS me all right :):):)... AWESOME lines da ... its been a long time since i visited,,, but yeah glad i did ...